Anybody craving pre-stardom sightings of George Clooney, Laura Dern and Charlie Sheen, the top-billed names in “Grizzly II: Revenge,” might be higher served by learning the film’s poster. In any other case, don’t miss the primary 5 minutes, after which little stays of our threesome besides, effectively, stays.
Directed, with virtually touching incompetence, by Andre Szots, this grievous sequel to the mystifyingly common 1976 dud, “Grizzly,” is comprised primarily of footage filmed in Hungary within the early Nineteen Eighties and — aside from an unfinished bootleg that surfaced often on-line — by no means launched. Rescued by the resolute producer Suzanne Csikos-Nagy, the film unfolds in a nationwide park that’s gearing up for a big rock live performance. As unwitting followers arrive in droves, a crazed mama bear whose cub was shot by poachers is offing each woods-wandering idiot who crosses her path.
“You bought the satan bear!,” a folksy trapper named Bouchard warns a softhearted official (Deborah Raffin) and a spiffy park ranger (Steve Inwood, whose labradoodle hairstyle does many of the emoting). Accessorized with an identical set of axes, Bouchard (John Rhys-Davies, masticating each ludicrous line with Shakespearean gusto) resembles nothing a lot as a sylvan Captain Ahab.
A steroidal rating and countless photographs of excruciating musical acts interrupt his search — and ours — for the barely-seen bear, whose perspective dominates the risible assault scenes. Dopey dialogue and less-than-scrupulous continuity increase the ramshackle vibe of a film that’s too inept to qualify as camp or cult. The ending, furthermore, is insultingly undignified: The slayer of Clooney and firm is likely to be animatronic, however she deserves a extra exalted send-off than this one.
Grizzly II: Revenge
Not rated. Working time: 1 hour 14 minutes. In theaters and obtainable to lease or purchase on Amazon, Apple TV and different streaming platforms and pay TV operators. Please seek the advice of the rules outlined by the Facilities for Illness Management and Prevention earlier than watching motion pictures inside theaters.